


Communing with the dead

by TheRantingSage



Category: Splatoon
Genre: Chatlogs, Dedf1sh wrestles with the idea of emotions, F/F, FINALLY UPDATING YAY, Light Angst, NSS is an agency with more than just 6 people in it, Not as angsty as the title would make it seem, Octo Expansion DLC Spoilers, Post-Octo Expansion DLC, This is a birthday present for my boyfriend! Yay!, Updates are going to be very sporadic btw this is for my writers block, still don't know how to tag things
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2020-10-04 11:44:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20470490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRantingSage/pseuds/TheRantingSage
Summary: It is lonely. It is dark. It is all she remembers. All she thinks she remembers.But that couldn't be so. She remembers light in the air...and in that voice.She calls for help again. Maybe this time someone will hear her.





	1. To rescue

Dedf1sh sent out a message every month. A cry for help, and one she desperately hoped Tartar never caught wind of. She'd been spared a great deal of torment by his will alone, and she'd hate to appear ungrateful.

But she knew she hated it down there. She...wasn't really sure _how_ she knew that. It wasn't like she felt anything anymore. But she hated it nonetheless. She wanted rescue. She wanted the sunlight again. She would trade all her music for freedom.

...it was the only part of her that remained, really. The rest had been scrapped make her the perfect little musician that the Commander required her to be. She didn't need emotions, only drive.

But...it had been awhile...and no one had come to check on her. She hadn't gotten any new orders for music in four months. Four months and six days, to be exact. The math was quite clear in her mind, and it pointed to a few possibilities.

One: they had enough music already. That one was prominent in her mind, and a valid possibility, but Tartar had made it quite clear that she would be disposed of once she was no longer useful. So it was unlikely, in this case, that he'd run out of use for her: she was very much still in her station, unthreatened.

Two: this was just a slow period. Also a valid possibility, but the last time there'd been a slow period it had only lasted a single month. This was roughly four times that length, which made the idea a bit dubious.

And third: Tartar was gone. The most interesting idea of the three, and the one she doubted the most. 10,000+ test subjects, and not a single one had managed to so much as pose a _threat_ to him. What were the chances that he'd been destroyed? Slim, impossibly so, and yet...

It would explain the fog in her mind. As if...the prominent bits of sanitized influence within her consciousness weren't active at all anymore. Radio silence. That could only happen if something had happened to Tartar.

From beneath the red shades, her eyes scanned across her station. It was bare-bones, only containing what she absolutely needed to make her music. She didn't require food after what had been done to her, but given that she still had her fragmented will, she was technically an employee; she possessed a CQ-80. An employee model. She picked it up, the movement of her hands eerily smooth.

She remembered very little of her time before Kamabo, but she knew...that regardless of the risks, she_ had_ to send out her monthly cry for help. It was worth the risk back when Tartar was around for sure, and that was doubly true if there was a possibility he was gone.

No one had seen the messages before, but each try was another precious chance at salvation.

With that thought, she typed into the CQ-80.

[Dedf1sh]: **hello? is anyone there?**

It wasn't really clear, who exactly she was messaging. The channels her CQ-80 had access to were limited at best, but she made sure to send the message in a different one each time, just so she was covering all her bases. Just in case one of them had a listener.

She waited. She waited. She waited.

She continued to wait. She really, truly, had nothing else to do but wait.

...there was a reply. That was certainly a first.

[Agent 1]: **Oh geez I almost missed this!! I'm soooooo sorry!!**  
[Agent 1]: **Are you stuck in the metro? That's what this channel is supposed to be I think**

Dedf1sh stared at the message. That was...a way to put it, she supposed? She didn't want to be there anymore...but was she stuck? She was capable of walking, and she wasn't locked in...

...she...couldn't make herself leave, though.

[Dedf1sh]: **i may be stuck. i am unsure.**

The next message came swiftly.

[Agent 1]: **...maybe? How would you not be sure...??**  
[Agent 1]: **Do you know where you are?**

[Dedf1sh]: **level 3. effects division. personal quarters.**

There was a long pause.

[Agent 1]: **Waaaiiiit, are you an employee? I was told Kamabo didn't have workers with brains that worked on their own**

[Dedf1sh]: **as far as i am aware, i am the only one who is not fully sanitized. my station requires i at least keep my creativity and drive. nothing else is necessary.**

Another long pause.

[Agent 1]:** What do you do then, if you don't mind me asking?**

[Dedf1sh]: **i make music for the tests. all the music heard during testing was composed by me.**

[Agent 1]: **Oh that's neat 🎶 I'm something of a musician myself**

[Dedf1sh]: **...i am a dj, to be specific.**

The Octoling didn't know why she was clarifying anything. She was drifting through this conversation. It held all the attention she had, but it still took everything in her to focus on the words being given to her.

Had she ever had a conversation like this in her life before? Didn't she send that first message for a reason?

[Agent 1]: **Hmm, that sounds about right. Apologies if I'm making a rude assumption, but you're an Octoling, yeah?**

[Dedf1sh]: **yes.**

[Agent 1]: **Ok good just checking**  
[Agent 1]: **Do you know how long you've been down there?**

[Dedf1sh]: **all but a handful of my memories originate with kamabo.**

[Agent 1]: **Awww, you must be like 8 then :(**  
[Agent 1]: **Don't worry, we're gonna get you out of there**

Dedf1sh stared at the message, expression unchanged. Internally, however, something tied itself in a knot. She was getting rescued after all? What had been the point of the rest of this conversation?

...and why was she compelled to continue conversing?

[Dedf1sh]: **you are?**

[Agent 1]: **Of course! From what I've heard, it's terrible down there and it'd be just awful to leave you there when you can think and stuff**

[Dedf1sh]: **...why?**

[Agent 1]: **?**

[Dedf1sh]: **you do not know me. i am a stranger to you. would it not be a waste of resources?**

[Agent 1]: **...what?? No, of course not! Rescuing people like you is what those resources are for in the first place!**  
[Agent 1]: **I'm confused, don't you want to be rescued?**

The Octoling paused. _Did_ she want to be rescued? She did, but she still wasn't sure why she did. It was cold and dark down here, but the one memory she had of the sun, however nice it might've been, had no emotion tied to it anymore. Nothing in Kamabo had emotion tied to it either. She'd lost all her emotions, there really shouldn't have been anything to make her prefer one place over the other...

Yet she desired sunlight all the same. Baffling.

[Dedf1sh]: **i feel that i do, but i do not understand why that is the case.**

[Agent 1]: **Isn't it worth it, then? To find out why?**

[Dedf1sh]: **...perhaps. can you tell me about the sun?**

[Agent 1]: **The sun?**  
[Agent 1]: **Ohhhhhhhhh yeah of course!**  
[Agent 1]:** It's bright, and high in the sky most of the time, but over the course of the day it sinks down and turns the whole sky a real pretty shade of orange**  
[Agent 1]: **It warms you up from the inside and makes you happy! **  
[Agent 1]: **Or it makes me happy at least**

Dedf1sh closed her eyes. Visualizing. It sounded much nicer when the other described it; it was hard to imagine 'good' and 'bad' on her own without emotions.

[Dedf1sh]: **that sounds nice.**  
[Dedf1sh]: **or what i presume nice would sound like. he did not deem emotional response necessary for my music making.**

[Agent 1]: **Who's he?**

[Dedf1sh]: **commander tartar.**

There was a short pause, during which Dedf1sh considered clarifying who the Commander was, but then the response came.

[Agent 1]: **You mean that guy Agent 8 killed? Looks like a goopy telephone?**

The Octoling's hearts didn't beat, but if they had, they would've stopped. So it was true then. He really was gone.

[Dedf1sh]: **i was unaware he was gone. i suspected it as a possibility, but i never confirmed it. are you positive?**

[Agent 1]:** Yep! So there should be little to no danger in rescuing you!**  
[Agent 1]: **Speaking of, I never got your name!**

[Dedf1sh]: **i am dedf1sh.**

[Agent 1]: **I know that lol I read your handle **  
[Agent 1]: **But what's your real name?**

[Dedf1sh]: **...i do not remember.**

She wished she felt bad about that...but she didn't feel anything. Nothing at all.

_...why was she still talking?_

[Agent 1]: **Aww :( I'm sorry. That sucks**  
[Agent 1]: **Well, guess I'll call you Dedf1sh I guess...ooo, what about Ded for short? Oh! Oh! Or Fishy!!**

Well that certainly made her feel weird. Was her chest tight? Her chest felt tight. That probably meant something.

[Dedf1sh]:** if you must shorten it, ded is fine. you never introduced yourself. i do not know what your handle means.**

[Agent 1]:** Weelll, I'm Agent 1 of the New Squidbeak Splatoon! But if you're an Octoling, you might know me better as Callie of the Squid Sisters~**  
[Agent 1]: **Oh wait but you said you didn't remember anything, didn't you? Sorry**

Dedf1sh was still. Squid...Sisters...? That...wrung at least one bell. Just a single spark of familiarity.

But it was more than anything she'd ever gotten down here. She wanted more sparks.

[Dedf1sh]: **...i remember that name. i do not know how, but it strikes me as familiar. please...tell me more.**

[Agent 1]: **Oh? About what? Myself?**

[Dedf1sh]: **...yes. i do not know why, but i feel as though knowing...would help.**

Dedf1sh was powerless. There was something keeping her fingers moving. She could easily have stopped typing by now, the other had said she was going to be rescued, there was nothing useful about continuing the conversation.

But she was still typing. And each word she received in reply made her chest tighter still. Why? What was going on? She didn't have emotions, they'd been stripped, why was her chest...

...had she been mistaken somehow?

[Agent 1]:** I don't know how it would help, but it wouldn't hurt to keep you occupied while the squadron looks for you. Actually, real quick, what do you look like? I'll need to give them a physical description so they don't mistake you for an enemy.**

[Dedf1sh]: **green skin. blue tentacles, one hangs in front of my face. red fingertips and tentacle tips. i have a hat and headphones. i am in this room by myself, and it is dark. my fingertips glow.**

There was a long pause, during which something occurred to the Octoling. Was what she was experiencing....curiosity? It was unfamiliar. This...Callie person was an Inkling, if she was interpreting her words correctly. So why did Dedf1sh feel so...inquisitive? That wasn't...was that an emotional response? Wasn't she supposed to hate Inklings?

Wasn't hatred an emotional response as well? She felt so lost all of a sudden.

Eventually, Callie replied.

[Agent 1]:** Ooooooo, spooky~**  
[Agent 1]: **I let the rescue party know. They should hopefully be there sometime in the next couple of hours!**

[Dedf1sh]: **what should i expect?**

[Agent 1]: **There'll be four of them, for starters. They said they were shifting their tentacles to orange. All wearing yellow vests. Super reflective of light and stuff.**

[Dedf1sh]: **all inklings?**

[Agent 1]: **Yep!**

[Dedf1sh]: **good to know. they should be easy to recognize by merit of that alone. all the other sanitized individuals in the facility are octolings.**

[Agent 1]: **Well that sure sounds unfortunate...**  
[Agent 1]: **Anyway, I'm happy to chat while you wait. Hate for you to get bored all by yourself**

[Dedf1sh]:** i have been alone in this room for almost the entire duration of my employment. if boredom was something i experienced, it would have already stricken me.**

[Agent 1]: **Yeesh, you poor thing...how long have you been there?**

[Dedf1sh]: **i cannot recall.**

[Agent 1]:** :'( **  
[Agent 1]: **I'm sorry. They'll be there soon. **  
[Agent 1]: **Do you still want me to talk about myself, or...?**

[Dedf1sh]: **i do.**

[Agent 1]: **Anything you're curious about specifically, or should I just...say whatever comes to mind?**

She...she didn't think she was curious earlier. She was honestly quite desperate to know why she was still talking. She'd waited in silence for so long now...she _surely_ didn't have the emotions to favor one scenario over the other, so why...?

It...couldn't be that she was wrong, could it? Did he not totally strip her of emotion like she'd thought?

It was preposterous, if only because she was sure she'd have noticed by now if it were true. Yet...there was a pull. A pull to continue conversing with this stranger. It...made something stir within her. Was that what the feeling was? Was that emotion?

...was that happiness? Did she _enjoy_ having someone to talk to, after so long of nothing but orders to which she could not reply? Was...this what it...felt like..........?

All of a sudden, the cloud in her mind _attacked_ her, and the CQ-80 fell from her grasp. Her hands flew up, too swiftly, too easily, to grasp at her pounding head. Her headphones were in the way, and she clawed them off.

They fell to the ground, and so did she, out of her chair and onto her side. She let out a hiss, and then a garbled noise escaped her. It was not any kind of language, for she could not speak. Not anymore.

Her eyes were shut tight, yet light still filled her vision.

* * *

_"Ya! Weni! Marei!" The Inklings sang, and despite the fact that they were clearly the enemies, every Octarian in the crowd was moved to dancing. Ahato almost forgot she was underground, everything felt so bright._

_The Inkling fighting their king seemed to be winning...but no one cared. It was just...music, filling their souls. Nothing else seemed to matter._

_One of the voices seemed especially clear to Ahato. They were both beautiful, but the higher-pitched one felt like a siren call..._

_Everything felt so clear, listening to it...listening to it all..._

_...it was like clouds parting...and she realized...there was nothing stopping her from seeing that fabled sky herself. There really wasn't anything stopping her. Perhaps his majesty was, technically...but from the looks of things, he was still losing the battle._

_Soon...she'd be able to see the sun. She could leave if Octavio fell. She really could, if she wanted..._

_In time with the music, in time with that siren voice, she cheered for the Inkling._

* * *

When she heard her door open, she could barely see past her shades. She had no strength to even look up. She felt herself being lifted off the ground. She heard words spoken in a strange language, in a soft tone, and they meant nothing to her. She let them move her, and then let her eyes drift shut completely.

When they opened again, the shades weren't in the way, and she heard that siren voice. Her unnatural eyes stared, lethargically, at the Inkling sitting before her.

_"Hey there. You really had me worried when you didn't respond, you know."_ Came her voice, gentle and quiet, and in a tongue she recognized.

_'I remember you.'_ The Octoling thought, incapable of speaking. She weakly mimed typing.

The Inkling blinked. _"I know you probably meant to reply, but I guess you passed out before you could..."_

_'I know who you are now.'_ Dedf1sh thought, slightly perturbed that the other didn't seem to get what she was asking. She mimed typing again.

Callie squinted, and then her eyes widened in realization. _"Ohh, your device that you had?"_

Dedf1sh weakly nodded.

_"It's right there."_ She said, pointing at a table beside the Octoling's bed.

She straightened herself slightly, the movement still too smooth, too robotic, and reached over to grab it. Her hands brushed over its surface, and she opened the interface.

The panel of light shone out of it, and the Inkling watched her with furrowed brow as she typed, very deliberately.

Her own communicator buzzed, and she lifted it up to see the message.

[Dedf1sh]: **i remember you.**

She blinked, and then looked up at Dedf1sh, who was now sitting upright in the bed. _"...you do?"_

The Octoling typed again.

[Dedf1sh]: **i remember your voice. it was the light that drove me to seek freedom.**

Callie gave a sheepish smile. But before she could reply...Dedf1sh's eyes began to water.

Which looked a bit alarming, because her tears weren't clear, like tears were supposed to be; they were _bright teal_. But she was typing again. So the Inkling didn't interrupt.

[Dedf1sh]: **you were the light.**

Callie turned a little pink. But she found herself unable to say anything, as the Octoling dropped the CQ-80 and let out a terrible sound that was probably a sob.

_"W-woah, easy Ded, easy..."_ she murmured, rushing over to rest a firm hand on the other's shoulder.

Dedf1sh, eyes still dripping the blue fluid, found herself opening her mouth. Her chest was in a knot, and her throat surely didn't want to cooperate, but she _needed_ to speak. She _had_ to. She needed to communicate with words to the other, with her _voice_. It felt like there was no other way.

She let out a sound. It was scratchy and terrible, and it sounded like it hurt to make. It didn't.

She tried again. It was breathy and hollow this time, but still didn't sound like words. Callie looked even more concerned now.

She tried one more time. It was garbled, echoey...but underneath that, the words were there. Faint, and hard to decipher, but there. _"Y...Ou aRe m...Y li...Ght..."_ Came the harsh whisper.

Callie's brow furrowed with concern, and she leaned a bit closer. _"W...what?"_

The increased proximity only made the tightness in Dedf1sh's chest worse, but she forced out her words once more. _"You...are...my...light..."_

Callie was quiet. Her own eyes glistened. _"...I am going to do whatever I can to make sure you get better."_ She whispered. _"I promise."_

_"You are my light..."_

_"I heard you, Ded."_

_"You are my light..."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday John! You asked for Dedllie and this was the best I could do!
> 
> Had to think long and hard about this zombie DJ...I try very hard to comply to canon...she did not make it easy.
> 
> Y'all let me know if I should make this more than a one-shot? This feels more like a set-up than a proper thing...Callie ships are hard to come by...Also I kinda wanna do more with this concept but I'm busy with other fics so let me know if this is something that interests y'all


	2. To clarify

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is worry, and there is hope. Callie has both. Dedf1sh has one.

"So...what's the verdict, doc?" Callie inquired, wringing her hands together.

The doctor sighed. "We've never had to deal with this kind of affliction before. We still need to do more tests before we can say if it's even curable. But her condition, strange as it is, is stable. She's not getting worse. But we don't know enough yet to help her get better."

The Inkling looked down. "Ah, well, let me know when you do. Thank you."

The doctor nodded and left.

"Don't get your hopes too high, Cal." Marie said from where she was seated. "The NSS may have talented people working here, but they've never had to deal with Sanitation before."

Callie gave an exaggerated sigh and flopped down on the couch next to her cousin. "They did a check up on Three, though. After she had _that_ happen to her."

"And that was only partial, and most of it was gone before they got to see her. You remember what Gramps said."

"I know, I know. I'm just...worried about Ded. What if she's stuck like that forever?"

Marie looked up from her phone and fixed Callie with a pointed look. "Why are you so invested in this, anyway? You barely know her."

Callie pouted in response. "I have _empathy_, Marie."

The other rolled her eyes. "Are you implying I don't?"

"Of course not! I'm just...you weren't around all the Octarians like I was when..." She trailed off, expression darkening for a moment before she shook her head. "They...they really wanted freedom. And seeing that desire end up screwing them over just...I didn't think much of it when Eight told us how many she had to fight initially because it didn't really click back then how messed up it was." Callie hugged herself. "So seeing how much of a shell poor Ded is just hurts my heart. She doesn't deserve this, Marie. None of them did."

Marie set her phone down and wrapped an arm around her cousin. "Hey, it'll be ok. They'll figure out how to help her."

Callie's eyes watered. "Will they?"

"Yeah. Definitely."

She wiped her eyes. "Yeah...yeah, I sure hope so. I just wish I could do more."

Marie smirked. "Knowing you, I'm sure a smile and a bit of cheer is more than enough. Based on what you told me...it sounded like she was _enamored_."

Callie blushed a little, but she was smiling. "You think being happy will help?"

"It'll definitely do more than being sad. You light up the room when you smile, Cal. It's a scientific fact."

Callie beamed, waving a bashful hand. "Aww, Marie! You charmer! How are you still single with lines like that?" She teased.

Marie rolled her eyes, still smirking. "I'm not _looking_, that's how. Dork."

Callie stood up from the couch and clenched her fists. "Regardless! I'm going to be positive! They're going to help her! She's not getting worse, so that means she's gonna _have_ to get better! And I'll be there for her while it happens! I'm going to smile, and make sure she doesn't feel alone!!"

Marie laughed. "What are you, an anime character?"

Callie spun around, grinning still. "No! I'm just determined! Determined to do what I can to make her feel better!"

"Ah, forgive me, you're a _video game_ character, my mistake."

Callie puffed out her cheeks indignantly.

Marie just laughed some more.

* * *

Life passed by unnoticed for Dedf1sh. The doctors spoke to her. She didn't try to respond. She knew not how to communicate with anyone that wasn't Callie.

_Callie_.

What did she feel for that Inkling? She still wasn't sure. She'd deduced by now that she at least had _some_ emotions left, contrary to what she'd initially assumed. But...what did that mean, exactly?

She didn't seem to have a reaction to anyone that wasn't Callie. Never mind what that specific reaction actually was.

She'd met, over the past month and three days since she'd been rescued, a handful of other individuals. Two other Inkling agents, and the other Squid Sister. An Octoling who froze in terror upon seeing her. An elderly man.

...she didn't get the same...tightness in her chest around any of them...it was only Callie that made her feel that way. Why her? It baffled her. Persistently did so.

...she wondered if the doctors knew her hearts didn't beat. Perhaps chest tightness was a concern...and not a sign of emotion after all.

Not that it mattered much. She still could think, and that was what really mattered. Was there even anything to cure?

Her eyes suddenly shot wide open. She heard that siren voice again, outside the door. She wasn't speaking Octarian this time, so Dedf1sh didn't know what she was saying...but...it was nice to have the privilege of listening.

She closed her eyes. Listened.

...

The door opened. So did her eyes.

_"Hey there, how are you...feeling today?"_ The siren asked, smiling a gentle smile. Her eyes were soft, pleasant, shining. Bright. _Beautiful_.

Dedf1sh felt the tightness return.

The Octarian looked down at herself, in her white hospital gown, and gave a tiny shrug. Everything felt the same. Just the same as it always did.

Callie gave a tiny frown, but then she shook her head, bringing back her bright smile._ "That's too bad, but don't worry! You'll be good as new...just as soon as they figure out how to fix you up. Everything'll be just fine!"_

Dedf1sh blinked. She wanted to know what that meant...but knew not the words to properly convey the question.

Callie cleared her throat._ "Anyway...I came in here because they need to know some things, and I'm apparently the only one you can or will talk to. Sooo I'm gonna ask some questions, and you just do your best, ok?"_

Dedf1sh nodded slowly, then mimed typing.

Callie smiled. _"Oh, yeah, sure."_ She reached over to the bedside table, then paused. _"Or I could just ask yes or no questions and you could nod. That could work too. What would you prefer?"_

The Octarian mimed typing again. It would be preferable to convey her thoughts in full. It would be the most productive.

Callie nodded, handing her the CQ-80.

Dedf1sh took it, and swiftly began typing away again.

*Blip*

Callie looked down at her phone.

[Dedf1sh]: **it is good to see you again, light**

Callie gave a nervous laugh. _"Y-you can call me Callie, you know."_

The Octoling paused. Expression unchanged.

[Dedf1sh]:** ...if that is what you wish for me to do**

Callie smiled. _"That is what I want, yes."_

[Dedf1sh]: **then i shall refer to you by name. what is it you require of me, callie?**

Callie looked up from the message and crossed her arms. Serious time. _"The doctors are saying some concerning things about you, you know. How much do you know about your..._condition_, let's call it?"_

Dedf1sh held her CQ-80 for a moment. Contemplative. If she desired information, information she could give. But they wanted to reverse what had been done to her, didn't they? She didn't really think it was possible to attempt such, much less succeed.

[Dedf1sh]: **the sanitization process strips the recipient of their free will. memories, vitality, all is reduced or removed to give the commander free control of our actions. i was never fully enslaved by this process, unlike the others. i still possess my thoughts, and my drive, because my purpose was music making, and that requires more autonomy than fighting**

Callie grimaced._ "I see. Soooooo....what about now, though? Tartar is dead."_

The Octoling pondered this question. It was one she'd been asking herself since she got there.

[Dedf1sh]: **i am unsure. but if it was a concern, i would not still be thinking. whatever kind of 'life' this is, it has not ended yet. therefore his gift was not something that hinged on his own existence**

Callie frowned at her wording. _Gift_ was a strong word for what she was. _Very_ strong, and entirely undeserved.

_"So you're probably not going to...drop dead anytime soon, at the very least?"_ She inquired in response.

[Dedf1sh]: **no, i will not, if only for the fact that i already am dead. nothing about my condition should change. the relevant circumstances that would bring about such changes have already passed**

Callie paused again at the wording. Already dead? Was that pessimism, or did she mean that literally? She hadn't known the Octoling very long, but she got the feeling that embellishing wasn't in her nature.

Didn't make the statement any less unnerving, however.

...it did line up with something the doctors had told her, though. _"...they said your hearts don't beat. Is that true?"_ She questioned.

Dedf1sh looked down. There was...something in Callie's voice just then. Some kind of emotion she didn't quite know how to identify. Sorrow, perhaps? Or guilt? The Octoling wasn't sure.

It took her a few moments to answer.

[Dedf1sh]: **it is**

Callie's own hearts sank. That wasn't a good sign in the slightest. _"Do you know why you aren't dead, then? You're still thinking and stuff, you still have at least some strength in your muscles and all that."_ She asked.

Dedf1sh, though her expression remained static as always, felt anxious at the question. Or at least some approximation of what she presumed to be anxiety. Did she not say she was dead? Why did Callie think otherwise? Was this a metaphor? Or a...test?

[Dedf1sh]: **i am unsure what you mean**

The Inkling grimaced. _"Uh...hm, let me rephrase then. Why are you still functioning at all? If your hearts don't beat, then something else must be keeping you stable. Do you know what that is?"_

Dedf1sh's neutral expression still didn't change.

[Dedf1sh]: **i presume it is the sanitization itself that holds me together, if that is your meaning. there is nothing else it could be**

There was a pit in Callie's stomach at that, and it very clearly showed on her face. _"Wait...if that's the case...then getting rid of the sanitization...would that make everything...crash?"_

The Octarian tilted her head to the side. Had she literally any expression at all on her face, it would've been endearing, but with her blank stare, it was nothing short of eerie.

[Dedf1sh]: **most likely, unless you could somehow make my hearts beat again. and in the case that such was accomplished, the sanitization would likely stop it again, as it is unnecessary**

Callie was doing frantic math in her head. _"Wait, wait wait. That just means it's not going to be just one ink transplant and done, right? It'll just be..."_ she counted on her fingers for a moment before lowering them with a distraught look in her eyes. She began mumbling to herself in Inkling, looking confused and concerned, and more and more worried with each passing word.

And, of course, Dedf1sh couldn't comprehend a single one of those words. But, in a way, hearing her speak Inkling was almost...soothing. She remembered...back when that siren voice had freed her, the song had been in a language she couldn't understand. It was just like now, but...different.

She closed her eyes. She almost wanted to remind Callie that she didn't know what she was saying, but hearing her talk...made her chest...warm. _Warm_. That was new, usually it was just _tight_.

She almost didn't hear when Callie frantically began calling her name again. But that voice was the only thing worth hearing, so she did.

_"Hey, hey, Ded, listen to me. We're going to find a way to fix this, ok? I promise. We're going to find a way. I swear."_ Callie reached forward and grasped one of Dedf1sh's hands in her own. In her eyes was a clear look of panic, and even Dedf1sh could see it. Emotions or no emotions, that look was clear as day.

And Dedf1sh wanted to respond, but found that...she couldn't without the hand Callie held. She wanted to say something, to perhaps inform the Inkling that the effort...wasn't worth the effort, but...she found she didn't want to move her hand. That the warmth in Callie's skin seeped into her own like this, and it...hm. It was...nice?

_Nice_...it was startlingly nice. The warmth in her chest increased.

She wanted to tell her that she was suggesting the impossible, but for some reason, she just gave a weak nod. Like the Inkling could do anything she said she could.

Callie gave her a smile in return, and held her hand just a fraction tighter.

Warm. _How in the world could a smile be that warm?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay not a one-shot anymore! One-shots don't exist I can't write them!
> 
> Anyway hope y'all enjoy this it was fun to write!


	3. To soothe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dedf1sh has a problem. Callie has a plan. Both are content with the arrangement, in different ways.

Agitated, agitated, _agitated_.

Dedf1sh was _agitated_.

It had taken a great deal of time for her to realize, because she'd never experienced anything like it before. And this time, the confusion didn't stem from emotions, either. It was a purely physical reaction, and it confused her all the same.

The doctors had been doing more tests since her conversation with Callie, and while Dedf1sh continued to doubt the usefulness of the endeavor, she couldn't help but take note of their dedication. It was...interesting. Did they have something to gain from trying to 'fix' her? Or did they simply do whatever it was Callie asked them to?

If it was the latter, she didn't think she could fault them for it: she was likely the same in that regard.

But regardless, she felt...agitated, specifically at not being able to move. It wasn't that she couldn't, necessarily. She had strength enough to move her upper half just fine, it was the lower half that was giving her trouble. Perhaps laying in the hospital bed for so long was causing the muscles there to atrophy.

It wasn't even that she _wanted_ to move either, it was...she didn't know _what_ it was. Just...she was beginning to become agitated. She didn't have anything better to do, as far as she could figure, but..._she didn't know_. It was baffling. It was bothersome.

So, on one such day of agitation, she reached for the CQ-80, which was close enough on the bedside table for her to reach now. Pulled open that familiar channel...

[Dedf1sh]: **are you there?**

She had felt..._drawn_ to the other as of late. Really, she'd been drawn from the moment she heard her voice after being rescued, but only now was she able to put a term to the feeling. The tightness in her chest, the _warmth_...it was captivating and it was curious. Dedf1sh was lacking in responses to most stimuli but _Callie_ could bring about _multiple_ on her own. She was inexplicably drawn to her, if only out of..._curiosity_. Definitely an emotion she possessed, without a shadow of a doubt now.

She waited. She had nothing to do but wait, and yet...this time, waiting just made her more agitated.

[Agent 1]: **Ded? What're you doing up this late?**

There was a swell, another feeling in her chest, seeing the message. Was it...relief, perhaps? That would be her best guess, at least.

[Dedf1sh]: **late?**

[Agent 1]: **Uh, yeah...?**  
[Agent 1]: **oh wait**  
[Agent 1]: **You don't have windows I forgot sorry**

[Dedf1sh]:** i do not know what time it is. if it is late i apologize**

[Agent 1]: **Nah, it's not a big deal. I guess I was just expecting you to be asleep or something?**

[Dedf1sh]:** i do not do much of that on ordinary circumstances, so regardless of the time i am likely to be awake**

There was a pause before the next message came.

[Agent 1]: **W**  
[Agent 1]: **What???**  
[Agent 1]: **You don't sleep???**

There was a strange sensation in the Octoling's chest at that. It was a new feeling...another thing to decode later, she supposed.

[Dedf1sh]: **is this a surprise to you?**

[Agent 1]: **Yes??? Most people need sleep to function, Dedf1sh!!!**

The sensation intensified, and Dedf1sh subconsciously brought a hand to her lips and...it lingered for a moment before returning to the CQ-80. Huh. Odd, that motion didn't accomplish anything. Another detail to decode.

[Dedf1sh]: **i do not exactly conform to typical biological requirements, considering my situation, Callie**

[Agent 1]: **........ok fair but like**  
[Agent 1]: **That still doesn't sound healthy**

[Dedf1sh]: **health is irrelevant. my hearts don't beat**

[Agent 1]: **sigh**  
[Agent 1]: **Youre probably right**  
[Agent 1]: **Anyway what did you message me for?**

Dedf1sh paused. Why _had_ she?

[Dedf1sh]: **...i am unsure myself. it simply felt like...the correct course of action**

[Agent 1]: **?**  
[Agent 1]: **What do you mean?**

Another pause. It was hard to describe things that she herself did not understand, but she would have to try. Callie wanted her to try.

[Dedf1sh]: **i...felt some kind of agitation. as if it was...less than ideal to be sitting here, despite the fact that i have nothing more ideal with which to occupy my time. i believed speaking with you would help in some way**

There was a pause.

[Agent 1]: **D**  
[Agent 1]: **Ded**  
[Agent 1]: **Dedf1sh?**

[Dedf1sh]: **yes?**

[Agent 1]: **Are you...**  
[Agent 1]: **...bored????**

The Octoling paused. Huh. Was that what it was? Boredom? But that didn't make sense. She didn't get bored.

[Dedf1sh]: **that would be abnormal, if it were the case. i have never been bored before, no matter how much time passed with limited stimuli**

[Agent 1]: **Ok maybe but you pretty much described what being bored feels like**  
[Agent 1]: **Do you wanna get up and move around? Or maybe not GET UP, necessarily, but like, it would bother you a lot if you're not moving a body part?**

Dedf1sh considered this. She'd not yet attempted to do anything to relieve herself of the feeling, so perhaps Callie was correct.

She started with her hand. She lifted it up, the movement as smooth as ever, and then lowered it again. Hm. Inconclusive.

[Dedf1sh]: **i...am unsure. all i know is that i am agitated and i have a...feeling, perhaps, that laying unmoving is not improving the situation**

Normally she'd be hesitant to call a change an 'improvement', if only for lack of previous context to work with and compare, but...after this long a period of contending with the response, she had come to the conclusion that it was unpleasant and a change was preferable. She...presumed that this would be a point of personal pride, but she'd yet to discover if she still possessed that emotion.

[Agent 1]: **Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm**  
[Agent 1]: **Ok. Idea**  
[Agent 1]: **Try drumming your fingers on something.**

She did so after a moment's consideration. First, against the fabric of the hospital gown. Hm. Something...was that better? It was hard to tell. She tried again, this time on something more solid; the back of her CQ-80.

...

_Huh_. That actually lessened the agitation a bit. Only a bit though.

[Dedf1sh]: **...i am unsure to what extent and why, but that seems to have worked. but only to a small degree**

[Agent 1]:** I was right!! Sweet!**  
[Agent 1]: **I'm thinking that your a bit...what's the word**  
[Agent 1]: **whats that term where you like...prevented from feeling things?? Like not emotionally just physically**

[Dedf1sh]: **...sensory deprivation?**

[Agent 1]: **Yeah! That!**  
[Agent 1]: **I mean that's the term I was thinking of and I'm probably using it wrong but**  
[Agent 1]: **I think you're like...criminally under-stimulated sitting there like that and your brain is starting to get mad at you over it**

Dedf1sh was inclined to agree...with the part about her using the term wrong; she was unsure about the rest of Callie's statement. Was that possible for her? She'd been without 'suffient' stimuli for far longer when Tartar was giving her commands, and it never caused any agitation in her then. But...she supposed _many_ things were changing recently, internally speaking, if only for the funny feelings in her chest.

[Dedf1sh]: **were that the case...how would i remedy this?**

[Agent 1]: **Good question!**  
[Agent 1]: **This kinda thing is different for everyone I imagine **  
[Agent 1]: **And you being basically immobile limits your options**  
[Agent 1]: **But if drumming your fingers helped a little then I bet having something to fidget with would help a LOT**

Dedf1sh reserved judgement. There'd be no way of knowing until the plan was _actually_ put into motion.

[Dedf1sh]: **you are welcome to make an attempt, callie**

[Agent 1]:** ^v^**  
[Agent 1]: **I'll do more than make an attempt! I'm gonna help you if it's the last thing I do! You can count on me, Ded~**

Dedf1sh felt the familiar feelings in her chest return. And just like the time before, they were strong enough to give her pause. What did it _mean_? Why _her_? Why _only_ her? What made _Callie_ so special?

And almost immediately upon recognizing that thought did a new sensation arise. New, unfamiliar, and patently unpleasant.

It was starting to get easier to tell.

* * *

A week later, and Callie's plan was finally in motion.

The doctors came in one...morning? Dedf1sh still didn't have a reliable way of measuring time with no windows in her room, but she presumed it was morning. The doctor that morning brought with them a small parcel, and then proceeded to hold the door open for...

...for an _Octoling_.

Dedf1sh stared, expression neutral. She recognized this Octoling. They'd come in before, early on in her stay, and quivered at the sight of her. Dedf1sh wondered what purpose they had to be there, if the sight of her filled them with some manner of unpleasant emotion.

Even now the other looked unnerved. Dedf1sh simply continued to stare. If they wanted something, they'd be able to tell her, unlike the Inkling doctors.

The Octoling cleared their throat, and began to speak to her. _"H-hi. Miss Callie sent me..." _They began, voice squeaky, a little high-pitched. Feminine, like Callie's but with a large measure less exuberance. Dedf1sh observed her as she observed the doctor, who was setting the parcel on her bedside table.

The doctor nodded to the other Octoling, said something in Inkling, and left the room so it was just the pair of them.

The Octoling twiddled her thumbs. _"Ahem...she couldn't stop by herself, she d-didn't have the time, but she wanted someone to explain to you in person."_ She explained, seeming to refuse to look at Dedf1sh's face.

Such a detail as the other's behavior was readily apparent to her, but it didn't make Dedf1sh feel much of anything. She was entirely focused on the message being given on Callie's behalf.

The Octoling cleared her throat again. _"C-Callie said you're bored here, right? Well...she got you a present that should help with that." _She gestured to the parcel on the bedside table.

Dedf1sh followed the gesture with her eyes, but didn't turn her head. Her eyes went back to the other Octoling, and she saw her shudder.

_"She said, she said she left a note, a note in the box that'll explain what it is exactly, I wasn't told." _She stammered out.

Dedf1sh gave a nod, the movement just as robotic as all her others. It just seemed to frazzle the other Octoling even more.

It was bizarre, observing the other emote in such a way. With her own bare-bones set of emotional responses still coming to light yet, it was perplexing to see someone as emotive as the other was. Even if it was clear the emotions were negative.

Really, it was the opposite kind of interaction, compared to Callie. Both were curious sets of responses, but Callie's emotions just seemed to...resonate with her more. That was the closest term, she felt.

The Octoling gave a smile. It was lined with her previous emotion, very clearly not a happy look. _"W-w-well, that's all I was here for! S-so, have fun with your...thing!"_ She yelped, and quickly dashed out the door.

She was still for a moment, the object of her focus gone, and then her attention drifted to the parcel.

She reached for it, picked it up, and placed it in her lap. It was easy to open, sealed with one single piece of tape. And when she peeled it off, the sound seemed to lessen the agitation slightly. Baffling.

She pulled out the note first. She brought it into the light so she could see.

** _Hey there Ded! Sorry I couldn't give this to you in person, today's a really busy day. Sorry >n<_ **

** _Anyway, I got you a little bracelet thing! You put it on your wrist! It's got lots of little baubles on it, they've got different textures, some of the pieces click, or move, or do other things, and I felt that if you could occupy your fingers a little, it might make you feel less agitated. If it doesn't work, I'll find you something else. As quick as I can._ **

** _Anyway, hope you're doing well! Here's to a smooth recovery!_ **

** _With love, Callie <3_ **

She set the note down. She had to take a moment to let her chest stop feeling things.

It was such a swell, reading that message. The strongest one so far. Did it _hurt_, this time? Or was it just _so_ warm and _so_ tight that it ached from the intensity? She really couldn't tell.

She closed her eyes, and brought both her hands up to her face, and rested them on either cheek.

She felt a sound attempt to rise in her throat, but then the strangeness of her actions caught up to her and she paused.

Her eyes opened. What was that? It was like...like a week ago, when she'd brought a hand to her mouth for no reason. It was like her muscle-memory was reacting to something, but she didn't know what anymore. It must've been tied to an emotional response, that was the only thing that made sense.

But in that exact moment...she found she'd rather see what Callie had given her than decode whatever action she'd just done subconsciously.

Odd. She had a priority here. That was new.

She reached back into the box and pulled out the bracelet. It was just as Callie had described it: adorned with many smaller pieces, each one looking different than the others.

She slid it over her wrist, as the note said to do, and she felt the urge to shake it a little. It made a tinkling, jingling sound.

...the agitation faded a bit.

She took her other hand, and brushed it against one of the pieces.

Again, she felt the agitation fade.

A different piece. Just as the note said, it was a different texture than the first one.

It faded again, but not as much as before.

She returned to the previous piece. It seemed to work better. She closed her eyes again. Callie was right; this _was_ helping. This was an improvement.

Another new sensation swelled in her chest. Pleasant. Warm, but not in the same way as the warmth she was familiar with.

It was like...Callie had done her a great service. She...what did Dedf1sh feel about it? What was it, she knew what it was called, what _was_ it?

And then it came to her: _gratitude_. It was gratitude she was feeling.

She rubbed a finger against the charm. She decided she liked the way it felt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one took a while rip but it needed to be PERFECT
> 
> Anyway I read all your comments! I don't always have a reply but I read them all! Special thanks to the peeps who're impressed with how I write Dedf1sh, y'all make me feel accomplished <3


End file.
